Just read about the attack on women in a Mangalore pub for drinking alcohol and dressing indecently. I am so glad (and again thankful for readers that can be counted on the fingers of a single hand) that I am not raising my daughter there. Yes these are my thoughts on Republic Day.

This makes me imagine watching India from a distance. I imagine India as India’s map with its one billion people standing in there determined to take backward steps. There are a few that try to move forward but they lose ground and fall as people who insist on going backwards join hands. The ones that resist just get crushed. And the backward movement, its like rewinding a movie sequence. I see where it was, then I see India from 5 years back, then scenes from 10 years, 25 years and further back . I think these people who are driving this backward movement want to start from the start.

My mom never covered her head. Nor did my mother in law. My mother in law was a working Mom all her life and recently retired. They both wear sleeveless and My mother in law wears trousers comfortably. She also likes dessert wines. In my imagination, pretty soon, the movement will reach where they are standing and they will either fall or will have to join the backward surge. Then it will go further back. My grandmother outlived my granddad. May be these people will force her to burn on the pyre.  And continue moving backwards.

So when did this actually start? I think it started while I was still there. When I was growing up, we watched serials such as ‘humlog’ ,’buniyaad’ and ‘udaan’ and that shaped my thinking. I still identify with the chhutki in humlog who cried that she will fail after every exam she took. That was me. That is still me. Then there was this girl in udaan who wanted to fly. That was me too. Then there was Ek kahani- a string of exotic tales by famous writers some of whom I never would have known had I not been into watching too much TV back then. And then I grew up and these serials that shaped my thinking gave way to kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi and ghar ghar ki kahani. And the distinguishing characteristic of the vamp was she wanted to work, have a career and ate before the husband returned! One of my best friends’ 7 year old cousin had fallen from stairs while she was imitating one of these women and had covered her head (and her eyes). So yes those soaps do shape young minds.

Since the soaps are still on, I am glad my daughter wont be watching them.

I am an Indian. But I am also a mother. I can’t see myself joining hands with “them” and I don’t want to fall because I am holding my daugher in my arms. I will do what’s best for my child. I am sure there will be people who will tell me that I am an Indian first and that I should stay and fight these people.But I am an escapist. I would rather take the easier route. As long as I have the choice of escaping why shouldn’t I?

Will these people also tell a farmer in a drought ridden village that he should wait for the rain to come or work hard and dig a well because he was born there and his loyalty should lie there. Getting and education and moving to the city is not an option because his roots will always show, he will always be an outsider?

Or lets bring it closer home, why talk about a farmer, talk about our children. After what happened in Mangalore, wouldn’t you tell your daughter not to go in pub with her girl friends without male company to protect them? Wouldn’t you tell your daughter not to drink alcohol (without getting drunk) in a public place? Wouldn’t you tell your son and husband not to pick fights and leave with your female friends if someone tells them to?

In this scenario you either fall or end up joining hands.

I am an Indian but my daughter doesn’t have to be. Its about her. Its about me and it should be about what’s best us as a family.Yes it might not work out. Things might go really wrong in the country I finally settle in. Or who knows I might have to go back to the village because I can’t find work in the city. But that applies equally to all cases. I cannot take that unknown into consideration.

An intelligent decision has to be based on facts and the facts are that the India of my dreams is not the India of my imagination. Yes I have no loyalties. Just my selfish interests in mind. If the US fails me, I would like to move to Australia.

Trivia:

Australia’s national animal? Kangroo

Australia’s national bird? Emu

So what’s common between the two?

Both are incapable of taking backward steps! They can just move forward. Now that’s the country I want to belong to.

 

PS: really sleepy. have to wake up in another 4 hours. will read again tomorrow but if I am not making sense, blame it on the fact that its post midnight.